Monday, December 31, 2012

Good Hair Day

Last week, we looked at some guys who were a little tonsorially challenged.  This week, we take a look at some guys who may have gone a little overboard in the other direction.  

Instead of not knowing what a comb is for, these fellas seem to have spent a little too much time at their stylist’s and taken a few too many haircare products home with them.  So, put those combs down guys, step away from the mirror, and let’s see how you look …

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Nothing too unusual here.  In fact, poor Bruce doesn’t have a lot to work with, does he?  For you geography nerds out there, though, doesn’t his ‘do look a lot like Antarctica?

Bruce Brubaker played in two – count ‘em, two – major league games.  In those two games, he pitched 3 1/3 innings, faced 16 batters, and gave up five hits, five runs, and two homers.  Hence his less-than-stellar 13.50 ERA and 1.80 WHIP.  Over a full season, baseball-reference.com tells me Bruce would have given up 68 dingers.  Ouch!



I believe it’s called a “pompadour.”  I also believe it makes Gino look like a dinosaur, one of those dinosaurs that had a huge bump on their head that they used for cooling themselves down, or attracting mates, or battling others of their species, or something like that.  

We’ve met Gino Cimoli before, where he was missing some important parts of his anatomy.  In that post, I also mentioned that Gino, a San Francisco native, was the first MLB player to bat on the West Coast, in a game in San Fran.  I may have neglected to mention that he also struck out.



Chuck’s done a really nice job hiding that nasty point on the top of his head, don’t you think?

Chuck Harrison was up for five years, but only started in one.  Overall, he finished with over 1000 at bats, but had only 17 homers and a .238 average. Not really what you want for your corner infielder.

Found an old article about Chuck in Baseball Digest, from 1967. It’s all about his search for a batting stance he could settle on.  It also mentions that his nickname was “Pound Cake.” Man, I used to love that magazine.



I believe it’s called a “marcel.”  And I also believe it makes Gary look like an ankylosaurus.  

Not a bad pitcher, Gary Bell finished with over 100 wins and a 3.68 ERA, and was also a three-time All Star.  He may be more famous for being Jim Bouton’s roommate in Ball Four.  For fans of the book, Gary was behind the catchphrases “smoke ‘em inside” and “poor devil.”  God, I loved that book.

And, yes, his nickname was “Ding Dong.”



Derrell always leaned a little to the left.  In fact, sometimes he fell over.

Derrell Griffith showed some promise, having shined in the minors, then in his first year in the bigs.  As an MLB rookie, Derrell was second on the Dodgers with a .290 average.  

After that, though, pretty much everything fell apart.  The next year, he hit .171.  The year after that, he hit .067. And that was pretty much that.


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Remember those plastic wigs from the back pages of those comics you used to read when you were a kid?  No???  Well, John sure did.

Wikipedia lists six different John O’Donoghues.  Only our John and his son (another major league pitcher) were not from the Old Sod.  

John Sr. saw a little more action than John Jr.  Dad was up for nine years with five clubs and tallied 751 innings (though with a woeful 39-55 record).  Junior was up for one year, pitching 19 innings and finishing with an 0-1 record.


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Hey, it’s Travis Bickle.  Hi Travis!

Joe Nossek (great name) was up for six years in the bigs, but only totaled a single season’s worth of at-bats.  In those 579 at-bats, he “hit” .228, and “clubbed” three homers.

His coaching career, on the other hand, outlasted his playing career by 14 years.  He was most famous for his ability to steal signs

I have no idea what he thought about Jodie Foster.  Sorry.


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Vic Roznovsky was known as the Blond Liberace.

Hey, we haven’t had a classic backup catcher in awhile, have we?  Well, here you are ...  Five years, only one time over 100 at-bats, .218 career average.

There’s a site out there that says Vic was something of a “lady killer.”  Yeah, I’m sure all those elderly ladies from Cleveland and Chicago all thought his piano-playing was just divine.


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Lum knew he was a looker.  Just look at that shit-eating grin, would ya.  Just give Lum a comb and some Brylcreem, and he’s ready to show those young kids a thing or two.  Hey, hey, hey …

As a player, Lum Harris got in six forgettable years, almost all with the A’s and almost all during WWII.  He led the AL in losses in 1943, going 7-21.

As a manager, Harris was good for eight years, finishing 466-488.  Most of that was with the Braves, whom he led to a division title in ’69 before losing to the Miracle Mets in the NL championship.

Lum , huh?  Well, I guess that’s better than his given name, “Chalmer Luman.”  Didn’t anybody ever hear of “Skip” or “Buck” or “Sparky” around here?

3 comments:

  1. Bruce Brubaker's 'do looks like the Australian island state of Tasmania!

    http://www.tasmaniatrip.com/image-files/maptas.jpg

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  2. Nah, definitely Antarctica:

    https://www.google.com/search?q=antarctica+map&biw=1440&bih=773&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=5GL_VKePFoSUNvmahOgJ&ved=0CCwQ7Ak

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  3. Oh you're killin me. Especially the dino stuff!

    ReplyDelete