Monday, February 13, 2012

Roses by Other Names (‘50s Version, Monosyllabic Division)

It’s from Shakespeare, okay?  I was an English major, alright?  I don’t know, I think it was Troilus and Cressida or something.  The full quote is “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”  I think it means that Troilus didn’t care that his girlfriend had the same name as a Toyota.  He loved her just the same. 

For our purposes, I think it means it doesn’t matter if you’re a Clyde Kluttz or a Virgil Stallcup.  You may still be able to groove a nasty slider on the outside of the plate – or, alternatively, flick that slider to the opposite field and get that guy home from third.
In this edition, we look at the guys whose names have that pithy, punchy quality that only comes with monosyllabic first and last names.  Extra points if they both begin with the same letter.  Enjoy!

Guys just aren’t nicknamed “Chick” any more, are they?  I guess this one wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for the combination. 

I’m sure this guy musta been some kind of “babe magnet,” huh?  Get it?  “Chick king?”  Babe magnet?  Ah, never mind.

Chick King is also the name of an Irish chain restaurant, “the king of Southern Fried Chicken.”  Not sure who’s the king of fried chicken in Northern Ireland.


I’m sure Dick actually appreciates the alliterativeness of his name.  If, for example, he were to drop the “d” in Drott … 

Dick Drott may be most famous for getting ejected from a game for wheeling Moe Drabowsky to first in a wheelchair after Drabowksy got hit in the foot by a pitch.  Dick’s nickname was “Hummer.”

I don’t know.  I just liked this one.  It’s not quite Reince Preibus (current chairman of the Republican National Committee), but it’s close.

Is it my imagination, or are these guys related? 

If not …  Rance Plebus, meet Reese Press.  Er, I mean, Rebus Plebus, meet Rinse Plants.  Er … Um …


Royce fits right in here with Rance and Reince.  If only his last name was Prince or Plotts or something (though Lint really is priceless in its own way).

By the way, I absolutely love these ’55 Bowmans.  It’s just like watching your players on TV!  (Except you probably had a black ‘n white and the picture was the size of a pack of cards.  But who’s counting?).  Does anything say Fifties more than a design like this?

Just in case you can’t read the signature, it really does say “Matt Batts.”  Matt Batts.  Matt bats.  Matt Batts bats.  Matt Batts bats with a bat.  Hey, I’m Dr. Seuss!

Great detailed bio of Matt right here.  And embarrassing pictures of him here and here.

Hey!  It’s the ol’ alliterative double-whammy.  Not only do both names begin with a “k,” they both begin with a “kl.”  And isn’t that exactly what you’d want if your last name was something like Kluttz?

Hey, here’s a special callout to Chuck Churn.  He made it to the bigs in the late ‘50s, but alas not onto a Topps checklist.  As far as I could tell, that is.  Lots of pictures of Chuck on Google Images, but no cards.  Oh, but I did find the above.  Get it?  So, how old is the hamburger in your grocery store?

* - author has this card

Next week, polysyllabic monstrosities!  Don't miss it!

1 comment:

  1. Just saw your blog for the first time. Great stuff. You very funny man. I just recently got a Matt Batts card myself coincidentally the 1955 Bowman TV version.