Separated at Birth (‘50s Version)

Remember Spy magazine?  Don’t worry, no else does either.  It was one of those rare birds, an American adult humor magazine.  It lasted about 10 years, and was on the magazine stands during the late 80s and early 90s.

One enduring thing that Spy gave us was its famous separated-at-birth feature.  It basically paired two celebrities with an unlikely resemblance (Mick Jagger and Don Knotts, say).  They got a couple of books out of it, and the idea entered American culture.

No reason we can’t do that with ballplayers, right?  So, here they are, identical twins separated at birth, on and off the diamond …

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Same skinny frame, same wide eyes, same prominent eyebrows, same prominent ears.  They may not be identical twins, but they’ve got to be fraternal. 

Bert Hamric had 10 career at-bats.  Billy Moran, though, was something of a minor star, beating out Bobby Richardson to start at second in the ’62 All Star game.

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At first, I thought this was a misprint.  Could two guys look less likely to be major league ballplayers and more like each other at the same time?

Interestingly, Jim Bolger towered over Ernie Oravetz, 6’2” to 5’4”.  Otherwise, these two are identical twins.

 

Ditch the glasses and grow the hair, Dave, and you could guest-host on American Idol.

Yup, that last name is a familiar one.  Dave was Hall of Famer George Sisler’s son. 

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Dave and George.  I still think Dave looks more like more like Steven Tyler though. 

One thing Dave and his Dad did not have in common was baseball skills.  Dave managed to pitch in the majors for seven years, but never had double-digit wins and finished with a WHIP over 1.50. A little more Dave, right here.

Wow, these two are unbelievably alike!  Wait a minute.  Actually, these two are a little too alike.  Alright, who pulled this stunt? 

A little snooping around the Internet tells me that this is straight out of the first Naked Gun movie.  It’s a little too much to explain in this small space though.  Suffice it to say, whoever came up with this stunt is an incredible unheralded genius and we should all send him money.

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Just to give you an idea of what these cards really looked like.  (Yup, they really did do cards for umps that year.)  These are two of my particular faves.  The guy at the top looks like he should be riding with Brando in The Wild Bunch.  The guy on the bottom ...  Well, the guy on the bottom ... just looks really, really funny.

* - author has this card


And here are some identical twins from the '60s and '70s.