Monday, November 26, 2012

Phils, Red Sox, Cardinals, Lend Me Your Ears (’60s Version)

These guys should consider themselves lucky.  When it comes to ears, there’s all sorts of things that can go wrong.

You could suffer from rim kinks, accessory auricles, or Selhurst’s handle.  You could have Stahl’s bar, Darwinian tubercules, or cup deformity.  Heck, your helical rim could be compressed, you could have a deformed anti-tragus, or your upper auricular sulcus could not be visible.

As for these guys, all they’ve got is plain ol’ garden variety macrotia (big ones) and microtia (little ones).  Thank God for that!

Hey, Shrek ears!

The Internet is telling me that Jake Wood is the voice of the GEICO gecko.  It also says he was born in London, in 1972, and is best known for playing Max Branning on the BBC soap opera EastEnders.  Wait a minute …  I think I might have the wrong guy.

Sure enough, our Jake does not have a Cockney accent, plus he actually does know which end of a baseball bat to pick up.   That said, his rookie year, was pretty much the highlight of his career.  He got into 162 games, had over 600 at bats, and led the AL in triples.  It was pretty much downhill after that, though, with Jake bowing out of the majors in six more years.  Setting a then league record in strikeouts in that rookie year probably didn’t help things along any.

Nice smirk, by the way.

More little green trumpets! 

One of three brothers who all made the major leagues.  The others were Felipe and Jesus.  They were actually the only brother trio to all appear in the same game, where they manned the outfield en suite.

Not a bad player, Matty Alou finished with a .307 average over 15 seasons.  He led the NL in batting one year and was a two-time All Star.  1969 was arguably his best year, when he led the NL in at-bats, hits, and doubles.  Always liked this guy for some reason.

And here's Matty in a funny little hat.

Dave’s been here before.  I included him on this post just to bring attention to how strangely shaped his ears actually are.  They seem bigger at the bottom than at the top.  The ears, the glasses, the lips …  Dave Sisler was quite the package.

I’ve already discussed Dave’s ineptitude on the mound.  Life after baseball was actually rather kind to him.  He joined investment firm A.G. Edwards and retired from there as a vice chairman.  Sure beats a baseball pension.

Now here are some Hall of Fame lugs.

I’m not totally sure Don Sutton actually belongs in Cooperstown though.  Yes, he met the 300 wins threshold.  But it took him quite awhile to do it (23 years).  And, yes, I know, lasting for 23 years in the majors is quite an accomplishment too. 

What I don’t like about Don, though, is how little he dominated during that 23-year career.  Only once did he lead his league in any of the categories you expect a Hall of Fame pitcher to be a league leader in – wins, strikeouts, ERA, WHIP.  

By the way, he led the league in ERA.  But then again, so did Diego Segui and Atlee Hammaker.

Nothing super special going on here.  Basically, just your standard issue jug handles.

Jim Coates was around for nine seasons, as a reliever and spot starter.  He led the AL in winning percentage in 1960, but might be best remembered for a miscue that allowed the Pirates to stay alive in Game 7 of the series that year.  His nickname was “the Mummy.”

Crew cuts and big ears – a match made in heaven. 

One of the premier firemen of the ‘50s, Clem Labine led the NL in saves in ’56 and ’57.  He was a major Bum, and features prominently in The Boys of Summer.

It’s a great name, isn’t it?  I just don’t understand why kids aren’t named Clem anymore.


Good idea on the three-quarter shot, Bobby.  That brings special attention to your ear and makes it look like it grew perpendicularly straight out of the side of your head.

Bobby Wine was a good-field, no-hit shortstop for the Phillies and Expos.  He won a Gold Glove in 1963.  You might remember him better as a major league coach however.  On and off (and mostly on), he was strolling around the ballfield and hanging out in the dugout from 1972 to 1996. 

More bad Wine here and here.

Wow!  This guy is a kind of a combination of Clem, Bobby, and Jake.  And that’s quite an accomplishment.

Ed Keegan was up for three years, but only got in 23 innings during that time.  He finished with an 0-3 record, 9.00 ERA, and 2.35 WHIP.  That last figure actually equates to 23 walks and 31 hits.  A walk an inning is quite an accomplishment!

Can't get enough of those auricular appendages? Here's some from the '50s and '70s.

* - author has this card

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